The arrests of the top guys at FIFA*

The arrests of the top guys at FIFA*
Should not be beyond our beliefa.
            They developed the knack
            Of handling a kickback
Not like a defenda – a thiefa.

*Sorry, I don’t know that the letters mean.  I don’t speak soccer.

 

It’s National Hamburger Day!

It’s National Hamburger Day!
Throw your better judgment away!
            A single Quarter-Pounder*
            Can’t make you much rounder.
And the waif look is just so passé.

*Quarter-Pounder** is a registered trademark of McDonalds.

**Royale in France.

We see “Happy Memorial Day”

We see “Happy Memorial Day”
Plastered all over Facebook today.
            Remember the price
            Of their sacrifice.
It’s not just a day off with pay.

Remember the heroes Flight 93.

There once was a fellow named Letterman.

There once was a fellow named Letterman.
On TV there just was no better man.
            For so many years,
            Each one of his peers
Has admitted to being a debtor, man.

There once was a computer hacker

There once was a computer hacker
Who said, “I’m an airline attacker!”
            He may be smart as hell,
            But to own up and tell?
Seems to me, he’s a common sense lacker.

There once was a QB named Brady

There once was a QB named Brady
Who everyone knew played it shady.
            This talentless hack
            Just holds the Pats back.
We hope Coach Bill starts thinking trady.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has received a 4-game suspension for having theoretically knows that footballs used in games were slightly underinflated.  Hanging is too good for him!

There was a character named Burns

There was a character named Burns
Who said to his assistant, Smithers,
            “Tell Flanders we're leaving,
            No time for the grieving.
Meet us at the station with Skinner.”

Harry Shearer, voice actor of the above characters and more on the Stimsons, is leaving the long running animated series over a contract dispute.

On this National Day of the Limerick

On this National Day of the Limerick
We offer to you not a Grimerick,
            Not a Slim- or a Trim-,
            Certainly not a Prim-.
From the archives, we present a Quimerick.

From September 28, 2008

“I’m a big margarita,” said Kim,

Pouring tequila in her quim.
            She squirted fresh lime juice,
            All over her cooce
And even put salt on the rim.

May the Fifth is a glorious day.

May the Fifth is a glorious day.
It’ll make your troubles fade away.
            With each margarita
            What was sour is sweeta.
It’s a Mexican St. Patrick’s Day!

There once was a fellow named Herbie

There once was a fellow named Herbie
Who streaked at the Kentucky Derby.
            Sporting a limp scallion,
            Running next to a stallion
Made him feel somewhat less superby.