Saturday, August 16, 2014

CNN said that jean sales are down

CNN said that jean sales are down;
That gals wear yoga pants around town
            Women have gone en masse
            From squeezing their ass-
Ets into pants that too tightly surround.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

There once was a man from D.C.

There once was a man from D.C.
Who said this on network TV.
            “Am I a Rep or Dem?
            I’m neither of them.
I came to get thing done, you see.”

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

The city of Lincoln hosts a college.

The city of Lincoln hosts a college.
Amid the trucks with their corn cob haulage.
            Its alumni is proud
            And will shout out loud,
“Nebraska!  Where the ‘N’ stands for ‘Nowledge’.”

Monday, August 4, 2014

I ask of each son and each daughter

I ask of each son and each daughter
Take a message to those who would slaughter
            Our rivers and lakes
            For pure profits’ sakes.
Tell them, “Keep your hands off our water!”

Sunday, August 3, 2014

The Ohio elected officials

The Ohio elected officials
Who did not listen to the whistles
            About the impending doom
            Of the giant algae bloom
Should now be walking about on thistles.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Miss Idaho, who takes no back seat,

Miss Idaho, who take pageant back seat,
In her bathing suit was replete.
            When they said, “What’s that bumb.”
            She said “Insulin pump.
‘Cause the other girls have been so sweet.”

Friday, July 11, 2014

OMG! OMG! Did you hear?

OMG! OMG! Did you hear?
LeBron James is coming back here.*
            The sales of his merch
            Will hit a lofty perch
Since we burned up our old LeBron gear.
 
*Cleveland
 
 

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The giant on the U. S. Supreme Court

The giant on the U. S. Supreme Court
Has written a scathing retort.
            Bader-Ginsberg. Ruth,
            While maintaining her couth,
Told some of the Supremes to contort.

Monday, June 23, 2014

If Shakespeare lived in this time and place

If Shakespeare lived in this time and place,
What plays would he write to keep pace?
            Would he present British history,
            Or a “true” murder mystery?
Or Honey Boo Boo meets Nancy Grace?

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Doctor! Doctor! I’ve got World Cup Fever!

Doctor!  Doctor!  I’ve got World Cup Fever!
Can you give me some kind of reliever!
            He said, “When we lose,
            You’ll contract World Cup Blues
As you go from believer to griever. 

Go USA Soccer . . . I mean Futbol!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

To: The San Antonio Spurs,

To:  The San Antonio Spurs,
The NBA championship is yours.
            So, you could take the Heat.
            How about a repeat?
The spirit of Sam Houston proudly stirs.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

There once was a singer named Dido

There once was a singer named Dido
Who’s voice made her listeners sigh so.
            Music fans are fickle
            They left in a trickle
‘Til she woke up and asked, “Where did I go?”

Monday, May 26, 2014

McDonalds has been hit with bad spin

McDonalds has been hit with bad spin;
Did  they cause the obesity were all in?
             I checked out the inside
            And the patrons were wide,
But they were like that before they walked in.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Through the magic of high-tech sci-fi-ness

Through the magic of high-tech sci-fi-ness
Billboard brought back to life His Highness.
            The King of Pop was back
            From the days he was black,
Full of rocktastic surrealistical Whyness.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

I love the song “Taurus” by Spirit.

I love the song “Taurus” by Spirit.
I smile every time that I hear it.
            It sets my heart revvin’
            Like a stairway to heaven.
That song is so great, I revere it.

The estate of Randy California, guitarist for Spirit, popular 70s rock band, intends to sue Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin for plagiarism.  They claim that the rock anthem, “Stairway to Heaven” was copied from “Taurus”, a song written by California and performed frequently when the two bands toured todether in the 70s.

Listen to it on YouTube.  You be the judge.