Monday, September 1, 2014

There once was a Burger named King

There once was a Burger named King
Who got a caught in a tax-dodging thing.
            The sent his treasury forth
            To a neighbor up North
Who agreed to tax less of his bling.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Obama wore a light colored suit

Obama wore a light colored suit
Without his crimson tie, to boot.
            Hear the GOP shout,
            “Oh, my God.  Throw him out.”
From a yacht wearing a sailor suit.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

CNN said that jean sales are down

CNN said that jean sales are down;
That gals wear yoga pants around town
            Women have gone en masse
            From squeezing their ass-
Ets into pants that too tightly surround.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

There once was a man from D.C.

There once was a man from D.C.
Who said this on network TV.
            “Am I a Rep or Dem?
            I’m neither of them.
I came to get thing done, you see.”

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

The city of Lincoln hosts a college.

The city of Lincoln hosts a college.
Amid the trucks with their corn cob haulage.
            Its alumni is proud
            And will shout out loud,
“Nebraska!  Where the ‘N’ stands for ‘Nowledge’.”

Monday, August 4, 2014

I ask of each son and each daughter

I ask of each son and each daughter
Take a message to those who would slaughter
            Our rivers and lakes
            For pure profits’ sakes.
Tell them, “Keep your hands off our water!”

Sunday, August 3, 2014

The Ohio elected officials

The Ohio elected officials
Who did not listen to the whistles
            About the impending doom
            Of the giant algae bloom
Should now be walking about on thistles.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Miss Idaho, who takes no back seat,

Miss Idaho, who take pageant back seat,
In her bathing suit was replete.
            When they said, “What’s that bumb.”
            She said “Insulin pump.
‘Cause the other girls have been so sweet.”

Friday, July 11, 2014

OMG! OMG! Did you hear?

OMG! OMG! Did you hear?
LeBron James is coming back here.*
            The sales of his merch
            Will hit a lofty perch
Since we burned up our old LeBron gear.
 
*Cleveland
 
 

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The giant on the U. S. Supreme Court

The giant on the U. S. Supreme Court
Has written a scathing retort.
            Bader-Ginsberg. Ruth,
            While maintaining her couth,
Told some of the Supremes to contort.

Monday, June 23, 2014

If Shakespeare lived in this time and place

If Shakespeare lived in this time and place,
What plays would he write to keep pace?
            Would he present British history,
            Or a “true” murder mystery?
Or Honey Boo Boo meets Nancy Grace?

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Doctor! Doctor! I’ve got World Cup Fever!

Doctor!  Doctor!  I’ve got World Cup Fever!
Can you give me some kind of reliever!
            He said, “When we lose,
            You’ll contract World Cup Blues
As you go from believer to griever. 

Go USA Soccer . . . I mean Futbol!

Thursday, June 19, 2014

To: The San Antonio Spurs,

To:  The San Antonio Spurs,
The NBA championship is yours.
            So, you could take the Heat.
            How about a repeat?
The spirit of Sam Houston proudly stirs.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

There once was a singer named Dido

There once was a singer named Dido
Who’s voice made her listeners sigh so.
            Music fans are fickle
            They left in a trickle
‘Til she woke up and asked, “Where did I go?”

Monday, May 26, 2014

McDonalds has been hit with bad spin

McDonalds has been hit with bad spin;
Did  they cause the obesity were all in?
             I checked out the inside
            And the patrons were wide,
But they were like that before they walked in.