Sunday, April 6, 2014

So, Letterman is going away

So, Letterman is going away.
That will be a very sad day.
            How can we exist
            Without a Top Ten List?
Hay, has anyone contacted Jay?

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Diane fired a man at work

Diane fired a man at work
Who asked her if she liked to twerk.
            But then an Oxford don
            Put it in the lexicon,
And now she just feels like a jerk.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Batman is 75 years old

Batman is 75 years old.
For a codger, he seems pretty bold.
            I still say Adam West
            Played the Batman the best,
Though his abs made him easy to hold.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

So far, I have the perfect bracket.

So far, I have the perfect bracket.
And my friends said I couldn’t hack it.
            But I won’t get one buck
            Because, curse the luck,
It’s sitting at home in my jacket.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

The missing Malaysian plane drama

The missing Malaysian plane drama
Plays out over a wide panorama
            Of differing views.
            But, poor old Fox News
Can’t figure how to blame Obama.

Monday, March 17, 2014

There once was a Saint they called Patrick

There once was a Saint they called Patrick
With his ecclesiastical hat trick.
         He converted the rakes,
         He drove out the snakes,
And grew a tall elm from his fat stick

Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Supreme Court in Olde Boston Mass.

The Supreme Court in Olde Boston Mass.
Says it’s OK to “upskirt” a lass.
       So, ladies please beware
       What you wear down there.
‘Cause a web page might feature your ass.

 

Friday, February 28, 2014

Keep your eye on Hillary Clinton

Keep your eye on Hillary Clinton
She wears new contacts to stop squintin’.
          For it’s looks over brains
          When a woman campaigns.
So give that hair anti-grey tintin’.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

If I was a gay business owna

If I was a gay business owna
Who lived in sunny Arizona
          I would never invite
          Anyone from the Right
Who did not deny his (or her) persona

Sunday, February 23, 2014

At last, the Olympic closing rites!

At last, the Olympic closing rites!
NBC will give back out nights.
            No more half-pipe or curling
            Or triple axel trirling
And no more hockey without fights.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The beloved star of the screen

The beloved star of the screen,
Shirley Temple, has wrapped her last sene.
She lives on in our hearts
By mixing three parts
Of soda with one Grenadine.
 

Sunday, February 9, 2014

There once was a fellow named Ed

There once was a fellow named Ed –
The “Toast of the Town*” it was said.
         On his “rilly big shoe**”
         He brought me and you
The “Fab Four” and the invasion they led.

*The newspaper column that Ed Sullivan wrote in New York
**How Ed Sullivan pronounced “really big show”

Fifty years ago, the Beatles first appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show and changed American music forever.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Wjen I got “Fifty Shades of Grey”

Wjen I got “Fifty Shades of Grey”
I stopped reading one-tenth of the way.
          It’s not about d├ęcor
          For the color-blind, or
A sunglasses ad from Ban Ray.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The weather for Super Bowl Sunday

The weather for Super Bowl Sunday
Was perfect for everyone’s fun day.
          But did Roger Goodell
          By sheer force of his will
Hold back all the snow until Monday?

Monday, February 3, 2014

There once was a fellow named Russell

There once was a fellow named Russell
Who came out on top in a tussle
          With Peyton and friend
          Despite many portends
By using his much maligned muscle.