TruTV features the World’s Dumbest

TruTV features the World’s Dumbest

With folks whose brains are the numbest.

         Danny, Tanya and Leif,

         And Judy (that waif),

Are there to relieve all the glumbness.

The mightiest human alive

The mightiest human alive,

Superman has turned 75.

         The last son of Krypton

         Proved himself adept in

Insuring the American Way could thrive. 

On April 18^th in 1938, Action Comics #1 hit the newsstands, featuring a 13-page story introducing Superman.

There once was a woman named Jess

There once was a woman named Jess

Who worked for the cursed IRS.

         She picked people at ramdom

         And rejoiced to hand ‘em

An invite to auditory stress. 

Rest in peace, rapper Snoop Dogg

Rest in peace, rapper Snoop Dogg.

He’s not dead, so don’t stand there agog.

         I swear I’m not lyin’.

         He called himself Lion

With reggae in his rap catalog.

In gay marriage, he doesn’t believe

In gay marriage, he doesn’t believe

Because there’s no way to conceive.

         “If God didn’t want breedin’

         In the Garden of Eden,

He would have made Adam and Steve.”

 

Thanks to Robb for the idea.

 

The leadership of North Korea

The new leader of North Korea

Has propagandal diarrhea.

         He’s shot off his mouth

About attacking the South,

In hopes of getting a new Kia.

When Anne, a big fan of the Cubs,

When Anne, a big fan of the Cubs,

Goes to Wrigley Field she rubs

         All the bats in the dugout

         Until she gets drug out

To the bull pen to warm up the scrubs.

 

Hey! Hey! Opening Day!

 

I feel sorry for poor Jodi Arias

I feel sorry for poor Jodi Arias

Whose defense is hanging precarious

         Those phone calls and texts,

         Tells me this girl likes sex,

But, maybe, with partners more various.

You know I will never disparage

You know I will never disparage

Those folks who support same-sex marriage.

         Once a week, all my life,

         It’s “same sex” with my wife,

Since she will not touch my undercarriage. 

I say hats off to cyclist Lance

I say hats off to cyclist Lance

Who did not win those Tours de France.

         But, to cheat, they all say,

Is the American way.

So proudly wear those fiery pants. 

The new Yahoo! CEO is a jerk!

“The new Yahoo! CEO is a jerk!

She’s making us all come to work.”

         Such are all the dramas

         Of staffers in pajamas.

Excuse me while I hide a smirk.

Miters* off to the retiring Pope,

Miters* off to the retiring Pope,

That he has a good life, I do hope.

         He should sail the Med Sea,

         Drive a Lamborghini,

Or ski down a pristine Alpine slope. 

*Miter – noun - the official headdress of a bishop in the Western Church, in its modern form a tall cap with a top deeply cleft crosswise, the outline of the front and back resembling that of a pointed arch.  

So, the comics have killed off poor Robin

So, the comics have killed off poor Robin

Leaving Batman just broken and sobbin’.

         But tragedy entails

         Phenomenal sales,

So the fans at the shops will be mobbin’.

They say Danica is on the pole.

They say Danica is on the pole.

I can only say, “God bless her soul!”

         Then I heard she’s no stripper;

Or fire suit unzipper.

Just a girl with first place as her goal.

 

I keep hearing about this sequester.

I keep hearing about this sequester.

In the words of my good friend, Sylvester,

“Sufferin’ succotash!”

We get by on less cash,

While Congress lets our economy fester.